The scope of this article is to discuss the day-to-day issues faced by divorced men who are keen on working their way out to resurrect their lives from the ashes of divorce. The challenges faced by divorced men might vary according to circumstances, but I have tried to generalise at a broad level.
Issues Faced by Single, Custodial Fathers
Childcare: One of the primary issues faced by custodial fathers is that of childcare. It can especially be stressful for single custodial fathers whose children are in the age group of 5-10. It is only in this age group that the demand of the child starts growing.
Single custodial fathers face problems even in the case of their daughters who are of adolescent age. They find a great deal of difficulty in explaining issues pertaining to puberty and menstruation to their daughters, which is usually done by mothers in a household.
Work Focus: Not being able to strike a balance between childcare and professional work, single custodial fathers often find it difficult to cope with the situation. Even if it demands, they find it difficult spending additional hours at work, as they need to attend to the needs of the child back home.
Divorced men face a lot of issues when shuttling between the work at home and their workplace. They end up turning late to office, not able to stretch themselves after work hours. Life, in short, turns out to be miserable while performing this balancing act.
Home Maintenance: Before divorce, a majority of men would not have involved themselves in any kind of household chores. In most cases, household maintenance would have been taken care of by their ex. After divorce, taking care of the entire household would be like a major responsibility thrust on their shoulders.
Absence of a Helping Hand: Prior to divorce, you would have had a helping hand in the form of your wife to take care of your children. Even if you were not able to set up a doctor’s appointment for your child, you always had your wife to help you out. However, in the current situation, you do not have an option than to do things yourself.
Problems Pertaining to Child Behaviour: As custodial fathers tend to get little time to spend with their children, they might end up encountering problems pertaining to child behaviour. Due to loneliness, children might end up behaving strangely.
Issues Faced by Single, Non-Custodial Fathers
Living in Rented Homes: After divorce, the divorced father is expected to take up a separate home. If he is not able to afford another home of his own, he takes up a rented home. Often the home is quite far away from the workplace and he is expected to commute for hours together.
Child Visitation: Child visitation is one of the many issues revolving around non-custodial fathers. At times, the non-custodial father might not turn up on time owing to busy schedules and appointments. At other times, the custodial mother might fail to send the child with their father. In either case, it turns out to be a case of contempt of court.
Additional Financial Burden: Post-divorce, you might end up facing additional financial burden on your shoulders. The non-custodial father ends up paying a huge sum in the form of alimony. Apart from this, he ends up losing his ancestral home to his wife and children. As a result, the non-custodial father almost turns bankrupt.
Words of Wisdom for Single Divorced Men
Ask for help if you really need it. In case you are not able to strike an even balance between work and home, try appointing a maid for your home to take care of your child and the home in your absence. But, this does not mean you can spend more hours away from home.
Try spending quality time with your children. Also involve the mother of the child, which would result in effective co-parenting. Place your child in the high priority list. After all, they need you.
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